holly freaking homemaker [late post]

yeah, that's me. at least this week. ;) 

NOTE: Blogger hates me and did not automatically post this on Saturday, even though I had it scheduled to. 

I've decided it's time to be a grown up... meaning that I've got to start pitching in with cooking dinner and keeping up with the house. which means... no more waiting until the weekend, only to spend an entire day cleaning the crap out of my house. no more leaving dishes in the sink until I feel like washing them. no more unhealthy (yet incredibly easy) meals for dinner. no more buying crap food for lunch everyday at work. 

I'm proud to say that I haven't bought lunch at work in two weeks! it's amazing how much money you save when you just bring your own food to work everyday. this whole concept is completely foreign to me, but I think it's been a success so far! 

everyday when I get home, I try to do one or two small things around the house... like scoop the litter boxes or vacuum the hardwood floors. when we're finished with dinner, the dishes get washed and put in the dish drain, and the put away the following day. I'm cooking dinner at least 2-3 times a week, and I'm loving it. 

keeping up with the house work/chores and cooking meals together every night has proved to be awesome for Sean and I. we get that time in the evening to bond with each other instead of going our separate ways and fending for ourselves for dinner. unfortunately, we had been guilty of doing that in the past. teaming up to make sure the house is always in order is an automatic ego boost for both of us and we feel awesome about it. 

we decided we wanted to have our friends Kaycie & Adam over this Sunday. the Caps play at 12:30, and then of course, there's the Superbowl on later in the evening. since they'll be at our house pretty much all day, I decided to go all out and have a feast throughout the day. I've been searching allrecipes.com for good appetizer recipes, and I think I finally have a set list of dishes to make. 

let me just mention that I am not a chef... I typically do not cook and I certainly don't cook appetizers. so this is a first for me, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they turn out well!

Sunday Funday Menu

APPS

• Homemade Meatballs with Kaley's secret meatball sauce ;)
• Dill Veggie Dip, served with baby carrots, sliced cucumbers, broccoli florets, and cherry tomatoes
• Sweet Fruit Dip, served with sliced apples, bananas, strawberries, and cantaloupe
• Bacon Wrapped Shrimp (I'm substituting the BBQ sauce for a pre-packaged McCormick's marinade)

DINNER

• Garden Salad with Italian dressing and garlic croutons
• Baked Ziti, served with cheesy garlic bread

DESSERT

• Chocolate Candy Bar Dessert (using Oreo cookies instead of wafers and Snickers candy bars)

so there it is, my first ever multi-course dinner menu! I'm pretty excited about all of this, to be honest. I actually cooked Sean's chicken Parmesan (his favorite) as a belated birthday meal a few weeks ago, along with the chocolate roll cake. I honestly just kind of winged it for the chicken Parm, so I guess I can't really post a recipe for that, but I do have pictures. if I have the time this weekend, those posts will be up! 

I'm also still working on a book review for The Help, but I'm having a hard time finding the time to put sufficient energy into it. I'm in the middle of reading 3 different books right now, but all is being put on hold for The Hunger Games. I've had multiple people tell me (just this week!) that they couldn't put it down and they read it fairly quickly (we're talking a day here), so I figured I'd go ahead and pick it up. I need a page turner right now to distract me from my English class. 

I think that's all for now... at least all my brain can handle at the moment. I hope you all are doing fantastic - I'm working on catching up on your recent posts! have a happy weekend, everyone!  

UPDATE: I went out with Sean and his friends last night and got completely way too drunk, resulting in the worst hangover known to man. I've spent the majority of the day in the bathroom puking my brains out. the only dish I actually cooked today was the meatballs... Kaycie and Sean cooked everything else. and for the record, my meatballs were delicious. 

Reverb 10 - December 6th

December 6: Make

What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?

unfortunately, I married a Baltimore Ravens fan. and not just any fan, but a die hard fan. a fan that has season tickets, attends every single home game, and arrives in the parking lot to tailgate as soon as it opens. if you're not into football, you may not be aware of the rivalry between the Ravens and the Pittsburgh Steelers... and in that case, this may not make sense to you. basically, Ravens fans would rather die than wear Steelers gear, and vice versa. it's a divisional match-up, much like the Cowboys versus the Redskins.

anyway, the point of this is that the tailgate for the Ravens vs. Steelers game is a little... adventurous, compared to other games, especially for the night game. this past week, Sean decided that he wanted to make jungle juice for the game, and since he'd never made it before, I gladly offered to help, all the while secretly laughing, knowing that I wouldn't have to drink that shit. so we bought ourselves a 5 gallon Gatorade cooler, bought all the supplies, and made the juice on Friday and Saturday. 

here is our my recipe: 

1 gallon Everclear (grain alcohol)

1 5th apple flavored vodka

2 jugs Hawaiian Punch (the big ones with the handle on the lid)

2 liters Sprite

1 gallon orange juice

1 can crushed pineapple

2 jars maraschino cherries

2 sliced braeburn apples

2 sliced naval oranges

it's pretty simple - dump everything together. well, we put all the fruit in the jug first, and then dumped the Everclear and one jug of Hawaiian Punch and let it soak in overnight, and then we added the rest of the ingredients on Saturday before the Sunday game. we made sure to put the barrel outside so that it would stay cold, with the orange juice being in there and all. 

here's a quick picture that Sean took with his cell phone. the great thing (or the worst thing, depending on your stance) about jungle juice is that it just tastes like juice - you can't even taste the alcohol. ;) 

needless to say, it was a huge success, and everyone loved it. well, Sean loved it so much he decided to drink copious amounts of it and ended up really sick that night. serves him right for being a Ravens fan. ;) 

Wordless Wednesday

fill in the blank Friday!

happy Friday, folks! 

I have yet another busy weekend coming up, but I'm excited to attend my very first college football game tomorrow - Penn State vs. Indiana. Kaycie's boyfriend, Adam (hi snuggle butt!), is a PSU Alumni, so it's bound to be an amazing day! I'm headed to the mall tonight to pick up some Penn State gear to wear tomorrow. the game starts at noon, which means we'll be tailgating in the parking lot bright and early at 8AM! 

do you have any fun plans for the weekend? 

 

ALSO - if you love Shutterfly and want a 

FREE 8x8 photo book, 

head over to Kaley's little corner and 

enter in her latest giveaway 

for a special code! 

but hurry - the giveaway ends tonight!

anywhoooooo... onto the blanks! 

this week's theme over at Lauren's place is Thanksgiving. 

play along here if you like!

1.   My Thanksgiving plans this year will include  having a macaroni & cheese bake-off with my dad, eating a delicious dinner, spending time with family, watching football, and consuming my weight in pumpkin pie. 

2.  My favorite Thanksgiving was  every. single. one. it's one of my favorite holidays!

3.  My signature Thanksgiving dish is  I've never had one, but I'm making my famous homemade macaroni & cheese this year. maybe one year I'll learn how to cook something more Thanksgiving related, but I'm happy with the mac & cheese contender. it's pretty fucking amazing. 

4.  My favorite Thanksgiving food is  pumpkin pie. and turkey. and stuffing. and green bean casserole. seriously, I can't choose. I might as well throw everything in a blender and drink it, because that's exactly how I eat on Thanksgiving. everything gets shoveled in as a group, and I'm always first in line for second helpings.

5.  Thanksgiving free association!   turkey, family, stuffing & mashed potatoes, football, kitchen, fall weather, pumpkin pie.

6.  Thanksgiving is    one of my favorite holidays. it's time with family and loved ones, and full of chaos and good times. it's also one of the only times I eat so much that I hate myself afterward. okay, that's a lie... that happens a lot.

7.  I am thankful for  everything listed here, and much much more. I'm quite the lucky gal. 

weekend recap!

I hope everyone had an amazing Halloween weekend! we don't get trick-or-treaters where we live, so I saved my thighs by not consuming 10lbs of candy. hallelujah! 

FRIDAY

Friday evening, Sean and I went up to the mall to see a movie. we grabbed some Chick Fil A in the food court, and because we had time to kill before the movie started, we browsed around a little bit. since I'm not allowed to buy anything for myself until Christmas, it kinda sucked to walk into various stores and have to walk right out... especially after seeing these boots! va-va-voom!

despite our strict shopping ban, we decided to go into one of our favorite stores, Buckle. I made a Buckle wish list not too long ago, remember? well I went to send that very wish list to my mother-in-law last week, and to my disappointment, almost all of the items had sold out already. 

I mentioned this to the sales associate, and she informed me that if I ever see an item sold out online, I can just call or visit the store to see if they can find it at another location. again, HALLELUJAH, I say. I asked her to look up this sweater for me, and there it was, in another store. so this baby is now en route to mi casa, along with a pair of shoes that Sean was coveting. 

after we broke our shopping ban, we went in to see Paranormal Activity 2. holy crap. scared the piss out of me... I was seriously, TERRIFIED. I liked it though - much like the first one in the beginning, but got creepier and creepier as it went. I did NOT like that we were literally the oldest people in the theater and that we had to listen to stupid tweens/teenagers talking and laughing the whole time. I actually yelled "shut up" twice to those kids.

SATURDAY

Saturday morning, I got up semi-early and headed back up to Annapolis to run some errands and get my hair done (finally). it's been months since I've had my hair cut and dyed, so it was well overdue. I decided to stay away from dying it red again, because it ALWAYS fades super fast and I find myself disappointed when it turns to copper within a few weeks. instead, I did my normal black all-over dye job, along with caramel colored highlights. 

I also got it trimmed (I'm trying to grow it out), and made a super huge change - BANGS. I was nervous at first, since I haven't had bangs since middle school, but I love them! I think they look chic and sophisticated, and it definitely adds a little more dimension to my otherwise plain jane haircut.

when I got home from the hair salon, I laid around the house for a bit before packing a bag for the night. we packed the truck with our overnight bags, Halloween costumes, and the cooler and headed down to meet our friends at the hotel we booked for the night. 

to my surprise, my friend Kaycie walked in, not dressed like her normal self (or as a pirate as I thought she would be), but as ME. she applied temporary tattoos to her left arm, her neck, and her foot, and even bought a fake nose and lip ring! it was HILARIOUS. I think that she played a better Mandee than I do.

from the hotel, we met up with Kaley and her family at Red Robin for dinner before heading out to the party. we stopped at the liquor store on the way back to the hotel to get changed. after getting all ready in my Cleopatra get up, we hung out in the hotel and pre-gamed for a little bit. we consumed some beverages and then hit the road. 

this is the only picture I have of my costume so far, and it was taken in my mirror at home on Friday night, when I decided it would probably be a good idea to try my costume on.

the party was a blast! I'll have pictures tomorrow (hopefully) of everyone's costumes. we played flip cup, sang lots of tunes, took pictures, and devoured Joey's mom's homemade rice krispy treats. we took a cab back to the hotel at the end of the night, and then crashed as soon as we got home. well, Adam and I stayed up talking about god knows what. he was drunk and I was on Ambien, so I'm sure it was an interesting conversation. the night was full of one-liners that we'll always remember, that's for sure! 

SUNDAY

yesterday morning, we struggled to get up and get ourselves ready to check out. the four of us stopped for breakfast and then went our separate ways. I was pretty much laid out on the couch all day, dozing off between football games (boo Lions!). 

Sean snapped this picture of me on his cell phone. please note that I am surrounded by ALL four cats... Mama Cat sleeping on my chest, Bear on my legs, Lily & Pheobe on the couch behind my head. folks, this is my life. 

NOTE 

Kaycie's "Mandee-isms" of the evening included:

- "I love my cats! they're so cute!"

- "ugh, I have to meet with my trainer tomorrow."

- "FUCK YOU, SEAN!" 

it's scary how well she knows me! 

Happy Monday!

Day 24/30

Day 24/30 - whatever tickles your fancy

I have to say that I'm in a good mood today, despite the fact that it's raining here in DC today, and that it's Monday. we had a great weekend in the FoFandee household, so that's what I'm going to share with you all for today's prompt. 

___________________________

Friday evening, we decided to go out to dinner for a little date night. my friend Kaycie called me and said that her and her boyfriend, Adam, were free all weekend, so we invited them to dinner with us at The Steakhouse. 

The Steakhouse is one of my favorite restaurants in our area, and it's where Sean and I had our very first date. we chowed down on crab dip and indulged in a few beers and had great conversation, mostly consisting of the three amigos (Sean, Kaycie & Adam) showing off their brand spankin' new Droid X phones. NERDS.

after our meals (I got a house salad with ranch dressing, filet mignon, and a baked potato... nom), we said goodnight and made plans to hang out the next day. 

_______________________________

unfortunately, my tattoo artist gchatted me on Friday afternoon and asked if we could reschedule my Saturday afternoon appointment, because his kids were sick. I was totally blown... I had been looking forward to getting my sleeve completed for WEEKS. but I totally understand where he's coming from, since I just dealt with having bronchitis a week ago. the new appointment is October 16th. 

since I no longer had plans that took up my entire Saturday, we decided it would be the best time to clean the house. I mean, really clean. not just picking up things here and there, but pulling the couches out and vacuuming the massive amounts of collected cat hair from under. spraying down the oven and scrubbing the bejeesus out of it. mopping the floors on the entire first level of the house. dusting every piece of wood furniture in the living room. clearing out the junk that piles up in the entryway and vacuuming the couch that Lily calls her bed. 

I must say, it feels SO good to have the house be spic and span. it took us HOURS to clean, and we didn't even touch the bedroom. now we just have to follow our cleaning schedule to make sure it doesn't get out of control messy again. and I picked up a nice fresh fall inspired bouquet for $12 at the grocery store... which includes white gerbera daisies, orange gerbera daisies, and black eyed susans. SO pretty.

halfway through the day, I drove down to Calvert County to see my adopted little sister, Savannah. her mom and my dad have been friends for about 20 years, and Savannah was a bridesmaid in my wedding. it was her school's homecoming this weekend, so I lent her a dress of mine and offered to do her hair and makeup for her. 

I've never done another person's makeup or hair before, so I was a little nervous. luckily, it turned out beautifully and she looked amazing. I did a smokey eye on her, using deep burgundy/red colored eyeshadow... it really made her brown eyes pop. her hair is naturally curly, so I just put a little product in it to calm down the frizz, and curled it all over, ringlet style. she looked absolutely beautiful. these pictures do not do justice. stupid cell phone.

by the time I got home, it was almost time for Kaycie & Adam to come over, so I rushed around to finish cleaning up a little bit, taking some empty boxes out to the garage and vacuuming the entryway. Sean was getting dinner ready when our friends showed up. he cooked the chicken recipe that I posted last week, accompanied by a bacon and garlic risotto. it was SO fucking good. I could have eaten the entire pan of risotto by myself. neither of us had ever had risotto, so it's been something we've been meaning to try, and I'm so glad we did. 

after dinner, we continued to drink a little wine (beer for the men folk), and played a few games of Apples to Apples. SO FUN. Sean and I had never played, but we got the hang out things fairly quickly. I won the first game, and Sean the second. I realized that it was more about knowing the judge's personality than picking the right card. it was a blast! 

at about 11, we decided to go to down to a nearby bar to surprise one of Kaycie's friends for her birthday. upon our arrival, we realized she had already left and went to another bar down the street, so we followed suit. by the time we got there, the girl had already left that bar too, so we just decided to stay and have some beers. some beers turned into a lot of beers. we played songs on the juke box, danced and sang at the top of our lungs. it was SO much fun. it's been a long time since Kaycie and I have been out and about like that, and we definitely made up for lost time. 

______________________________

Sunday was spent nursing a terrible hangover (surprise surprise) and watching football all day. thank the lord, the Ravens and the Redskins both won their games (sorry Eagles fans!)... which means there was no angry yelling in our house yesterday... always a good thing when you've got a wine headache! Bear was extremely lazy yesterday and spent most of the day curled up next to his daddy on the couch. 

all in all, it was a fantastic weekend. not only was I productive in getting the house cleaned, but I managed to spend lots of time with one of my best friends and make incredible memories with people I love. 

Happy Monday!

tailgating fun

Redskins vs. Ravens preseason game at Fedex Field - August 21, 2010

i heart football season.

Day 11/30

Day 11/30 - a photo of you taken recently

sorry folks, I won't be blogging much today. I'm at home in bed with a serious migraine headache. I blame my mom for these terrible things. she used to get them ALL the time, and I hear they're hereditary. it's taking a lot of energy just to keep my eyes open, so I'll get right to the challenge. 

this picture was taken Saturday, August 21st. we were on our way to meet up with friends at the Redskins/Ravens preseason game at FedEx Field. (it was taken with my cell phone, hence the crappy quality). fall is here, and so is football season! I can't wait for the Skins first regular season game on Sunday, against the Cowboys. should be a good one! I just hope the Redskins pull out a win against our arch nemesis. ;)

check out the entire 30 Day Challenge here. 

Happy Friday, loves!

Tom Petty, preseason football, and the await of hockey season

I still haven't finished all the laundry from our trip to the beach. and I'm not even worried about it.

One thing I am worried about though, is that I'm training at the gym tonight for the first time in two weeks. I didn't go to the gym ONCE when I was on vacation, so I'm definitely going to have a tough time tonight, and I'm sure I'll be super sore tomorrow. I'm looking forward to getting back on schedule though. I'm also considering checking out a spinning class to take once or twice a week, but I'm a little nervous. I spent a little time on a stationery bike, and that thing was HORRIBLE for my butt - it was so uncomfortable... so I don't know how I'll last an hour. Anyone have an recommendations/suggestions/rants/raves about spinning class?

Since we were at the beach for a week, I didn't once put on a pair of jeans. It was a little rainy on Sunday for the Tom Petty concert Sunday night, so I decided to throw on a pair of denims. I was shocked to discover that they were LOOSE. Like, really loose. Like, I could pull them down passed my ass without even unbuttoning them. THAT LOOSE. You can't even imagine my excitement. I was indeed SO thrilled, that I wore them to work the next day (yes, two days in a row... without washing them... you know you never wash your jeans) just to show my coworkers how they weren't skin tight anymore. 

Speaking of Tom Petty, the show was AMAZING. I was completely blown away... I'd never seen him live before, so I was pleasantly surprised at how great his performance was... especially for a guy who's been around for a LONG time. He played all my favorites, including Free Fallin', Maryjane, and You Don't Know How It Feels. I got video of all three songs, and I'm hoping to have time to upload them to YouTube sometime this week. Wait, it's Thursday. So maybe I'll get to it at some point this weekend? I didn't bring my camera in with me, but here are a few pictures from my cell phone. 

Saturday afternoon/evening, we're going to our first football game of the season - the Redskins/Ravens preseason game. We bought 12 tickets and we have an awesome group of friends going with us, so I'm sure it'll be a slammin' time. We'll arrive at FedEx Field when the parking lot opens and tailgate for a few hours before heading into the stadium. I'm hoping that the weather is nice, since the last time we went to a Battle of the Beltway preseason game, it POURED down rain and we ended up soaking wet. Either way, it's going to be a good start to the football season! 

Here's a picture from that game. I believe this was back in 2007... maybe 2008?

Speaking of football, I may or may not have mentioned this, but I am a Redskins fan and my husband is a Ravens fan. This means that we do not get along during football season, but since Sean has season tickets for home Ravens game, we don't see much of each other to argue. With the addition of McNabb and a new head coach, I'm hoping our record will surpass those of recent years. At least that way, I won't have to hear Sean tell me every.single.weekend how bad my team sucks. Is anyone everyone else as excited as I am for football season to finally be here?

ALSO, I cannot wait for hockey season to start! I'm so, so, so excited to see what the Caps have to bring this year. We're considering going to Pittsburgh for the Winter Classic (Pens vs. Caps) for New Year's Day, but it seems as if tickets are really expensive (as in, the cheapest tickets I could find were $328 a PIECE), so we might have to hold off and wait til the WC is in DC next year. We shall see, but either way, I'm stoked for hockey season to start so I can root for our Washington Capitals, and maybe even make it to a few games. 

Welp, that's all I've got for now. Happy Thursday!

Dears Of The Day

Dear Lane Bryant,
I am not plus size. Please stop sending me catalogs. You're not helping my self esteem.

Regards,
Not Super Skinny, But Definitely Not A Big Girl

_________________________________

Dear AT&T,
Your map commercials are fucking annoying. I don't really swoon over Luke Wilson to begin with (and Owen too, actually), so thank you SO much for confirming my hatred for him by paying him what I'm sure is a ridiculous amount of money to tell bold faced LIES regarding Verizon's coverage.

Sincerely,
Faithful Verizon Customer (& proud owner of a DVR so I can fast forward through your ass)

_________________________________

Dear underwear,
I know I'm not helping you out any with the continuous growth of my rear end, but please stop cutting off my circulation. There are only a few of you left in my "these can still comfortably fit" pile, and I'd like to wear you all again eventually. I promise I will not replace you with (*gasp*) large size garments. just please be patient.

Love Always,
The Ass In Which You Wish To Cover

_________________________________

Dear Insomnia,
please.fuck.off.

MandeeFoFandee

_________________________________

Dear Pheobe,
Stop being such a little whore to Bear. It's to the point now where he walks (kind of swerves, really... he's special) in the opposite direction when he sees you coming. He knows that you're going to growl at him and try to claw his eyes out. You should know better.

Regards,
Your MOTHER

PS - stop sprinting into the bedroom every time I open the fucking door. you know I'm just going to chase your ass until I can grab you and throw you back out. you never win at this game. give it up.

_________________________________

Dear BGE,
While I take great pleasure in your service, especially the heat which keeps me warm during these frigid months, I would greatly appreciate a little warning the next time you want to ASS RAPE me with a $428.00 electric bill. Last month's $415.00 bill was fucking awful, and so I've been watching our electricity use closely this month... even turning the heat down a few degrees when I leave for work... and yet my bill goes up. I would really prefer at least some lube and cuddle time next month.

Fuck off,
Your Loyal Customer, Who Will Never Get Ahead Thanks To YOU

_________________________________

Dear Pistachios,
I love you, despite your ability to royally fuck up my stomach. Keep being delicious and irresistible.

Love,
MandeeFoFandee

_________________________________

Dear Dad,
I know you have an incredibly terrible relationship with your girlfriend/baby mama, but honestly... it's not my fucking problem. Not only did you choose to move this crazy bitch into your home, but you then had unprotected sex with her, resulting in my little brother. Wyatt is amazing, and the coolest little kid ever, but keeping her around for his sake isn't really helping him much. I've given you the SAME advice for years, so please don't expect any sympathy when she goes on a crazy rant after a week's worth of normalcy.

Your Only Daughter,
Mandee

PS - I could really use a raise. See above RE: my electric bill.

_________________________________

Dear New Orleans Saints,
Please, for the sake of baby jesus, beat the shit out of the Colts this weekend. I am so sick of Peyton fucking Manning and the god damn Colts. Make them your bitches, Saints.

Yours Truly,
Devoted Redskins Fan, Who Has Come To Terms With NO Superbowl In My Future

_________________________________

Dear Mother Nature,
you win.

Soon-To-Be-Snowed-In,
MandeeFoFandee

It's Friday. Let's be random.

A little random never hurt anyone right? Well... maybe if she came with AIDS and baby daddy drama.

Random things I love. Here we go.

1. I'm pretty sure the only thing I love more than Fridays are football Sundays. Football Sundays consist of Mr. MandeeFoFandee and myself plopping ourselves on the couch (in our respective jerseys, of course - Ravens for him, and Redskins for me) and watching football all day long. Preseason, regular season, post season... doesn't matter, as long as it's a good game. Obviously I'd prefer to watch games in which the Redskins are victorious, but let's be honest... those days are rare. Sometimes it's just nice to have a day where you absolutely nothing.



2. Shoes. I love shoes. And I'm not talking about $300 killer heels that would likely cause me to suffer a broken neck. I'm talking about the Birkenstock sandals that I wore for years. Unfortunately, one of the cats had a little "accident" IN THEM and I had to toss them out - they were so worn out and beaten up that a toss in the wash would surely destroy them. They're not the cutest, but they're the comfiest shoes I've ever owned. I wish I could be the kind of girl who can just throw on a pair of heels to wear to the bar, but alas, I'm not. For one thing, I'm already pretty tall (5'-8") and I hate being taller than S in public. Two... I'm not the most graceful creature on the planet, and I trip over my own BAREfeet, so you can imagine what happens when I add a few inches. And lastly, they're just NOT comfortable for me, and I refuse to wear something that causes pain.



3. For as long as I can remember, I've had a strange affection for weird animals. While I adore cats and want to adopt every single one I come into contact with, I consider my top three favorite animals to be hippos, polar bears, and alligators. I'm not sure why, but it's true. I think it's because they're all really cute when they're babies. Hippos are freaking badass. Male hippos tend to keep their space bubble clear of intruders by flinging their poo at other male hippos. Polar bears are so cute and cuddly. Alligators are extremely cool to me... they've been around for thousands of years, and are still pretty high up on the food chain.



4. A good poop. This one is pretty obvious, and since it's not TMI Tuesday, I won't elaborate further... nor will I couple this with a picture.

5. Dead baby jokes. I know, I know, they're offensive, but I'm not exactly the most PC person on the planet, now am I? I think they're hilarious... maybe it's because I don't have kids, but I'm pretty sure that even if I gave birth to a little demon, I would still joke about why you put it in a blender feet first. I've always cared more about animals than I do people, and therefore I can't stand jokes that involve dead animals. I can't even watch freaking Animal Planet when the hungry lion is trying to catch a fleeing gazelle for it's cubs. But I can bet you $100 that if they had a show that concentrated on people (aka fucking idiots) who move to Florida in the everglades and then wonder why an alligator ate their small child... I'd be all up in that shit as long as they had footage of the attack.



Random things I hate. This could possibly be a long list.

1. People who move to Florida (more specifically, areas that are highly populated with alligators) and then freakthefuckout when their dog, cat, or small person disappear from their backyard. Uhh... what did you think was going to happen when you decided to move your entire family (including the tasty little human) to a place where this alligator has lived it's ENTIRE LIFE? Did you think he would just sign over the deed and let you have the property where he/she raised it's babies for years? No, bitch, I don't think so. And by the way, why was your dog or child out in the backyard alone anyway... especially when you're living in godforsaken alligator country? I should be an alligator activist. I'm pretty sure it would work out.



2. Shaving my legs. I'm so lazy when it comes to shaving. In the summer, and only if I'm wearing shorts, I'll shave my legs up to my knee, since the hair is pretty light above the knee. In the winter... you'll be lucky if I shave a total of three times. I'm very aware that it's pretty disgusting, but I don't care. It's too cold in the winter to shave (even in the shower)... plus, I think the hair helps me to stay warm. Don't judge... it's not like you have to touch them.




PS - don't ever Google Image search "hairy legs" at work. holy hairy vagina everywhere.

3. Cliche tattoos, specifically tramp stamps. I won't go into more detail, as I really don't want to offend someone. I know what you're thinking... "Mandee... being courteous?" I know, it's crazy. Consider it a happy Friday gift.

4. The alarm clock. If I could go back in time and stop anything from being invented, it would be the fucking alarm clock. I hate when I'm dreaming, and then all of a sudden, I hear this annoying noise, and I'm all like "whatthehellisthat?!!" in my dream... before waking up and realizing it's my alarm going off. I think people would be a lot happier without alarm clocks.
I know a lot of people are jobless right now, so I think it would be awesome to hire someone and have them wake me in the morning to the fresh scent of blueberry coffee and pancakes. I sure as hell would be a lot happier in the mornings.


Thank you, kind stranger! This is much more pleasant than waking to some annoying song from my cell phone.

5. While we're on the subject, I'll go ahead and add cell phones used as alarm clocks. You know how you get a cell phone, and you're listening for that perfect tone to be used for your alarm? It always ends up being the most annoying fucking sound your phone could possibly make, because you know it's the only thing that will get your lazy ass out of bed in the morning. Either that, or, cause you to throw your cell phone across the room when you hear it go off. Of course, I've neeeever done that...


Alright, that's all I got for today, folks. That was a lot longer than I expected it to be. Told you, I have a lot to say.

Happy weekend!

Finals Fever

So, its semi finals weekend here for in Australia in the National Rugby League competition. There are two games being played this weekend to determine who will meet in next weeks Grand Final. I know, thats not quite as fancy a term as Super Bowl ( why is it called a bowl exactly? I dont get it..... ) but its the pinnacle of the season. So, we have two games being played this weekend - one tonight and one tomorrow night - and the winner of these games will play for the championship. How exciting! I was going to do a post detailing how i think each game will go but the first game has already started and i think i can pick how its going to end up already (the Melbourne Storm vs the Cronulla Sharks - its going to be a resounding Storm victory as far as i can see... ). However, i still wish to comment on tomorrow nights upcoming game:



Manly Sea Eagles

VS

New Zealand Warriors

Or, for me its comes down to Steve Menzies ( at top in the maroon ) VS Ruben Wiki ( right there, in the black ). Why ? Because they are both legends, they are both retiring, and this could potentially the last game i ever see either one of them play. It has to end for one of them this weekend which, frankly, is kind of sad. I dont actually barrack ( or, for the Americans in the crowd, i dont root for ) either of their teams, but you cant help have respect for two blokes who have been playing top grade professional football for over 10 years, who have both played for their respective countries, and who give everything of themselves in every game they play. They're the hard men of rugby league, the workhorses; the elder statesman of the team who inspire the younger players.I dont really mind who wins ( although if i had to pick, I'd say it'll be Manly ), i'm just exciting to see these two players go round one more time. I'm gushing, i know, but if your a fan of a sport you get attached to the good guys.

Seriously - Ruben Wikis team mates have all refused to shave until their season comes to an end, out of humours respect for Mr Wiki's fabulous beard. So that means, until they lose, no-one on the team is shaving and, as such, the whole team is sporting an assortment of back-country beards and glorious porn star moustaches. Sexy.

And what about Steve " The Beaver " Menzies ? I dont know what his team mates are doing to honour him but i believe a sign at a recent game says it all from the Manly fans:

" MANLY MEN LOVE THE BEAVER "