Scared By Spider ,Scary Wake Up Pranks (Its Very Funny Video Clip)

Pat Getting a good wake up call



Scared witless.All these poor fools are terrified out of peaceful dream states with the rudest of awakenings.

We're Back!

Why hello there loyal reader types! Flynn and I are finally back from Tresillian and, i got to admit, i'm feeling pretty good. I thought i might feel a little apprehensive coming home, away from the nurses and the encouraging words of other mums, but i'm feeling confident that we're going to have our whole new routine downpat in no time at all. Granted, Flynn didnt have an afternoon nap this afternoon but, after a 6 hour car trip home, you cant blame him for feeling a little muddled. So what did we learn at this "sleep school "?

* Nothing is miraculously fixed overnight - at Flynns age, it can take up to 6 weeks for a new routine to be learned and settled into comfortably ( not the usual 2 suggested by most literature i've read ).
* Consistency is key. This one i already knew but found hard to stick to, especially when i was trying to get him to sleep when i was home alone.
* Watch the clock. It may feel like they've been screaming " for ages " and that they've been in bed long enough. In reality, its probably only been about 10 minutes.
* Bub should be having, at the very least, a 1 hr nap. If he wakes before that ( say, after 45 minutes ) i need to leave him in his cot ( going back in to check and calm ) for another FULL SLEEP CYCLE. Which is another 45 minutes....sometimes it takes that long for a baby to fall back to sleep.
* Dont stand and pat your baby until he falls asleep - be hands on to calm him down, but once he's calm, leave the room. Patting til he's asleep might help him drift off, but it doesnt teach him to drift off ON HIS OWN.
* No matter how hard they cry and how much it hurts, they will stop sometimes. Eventually. Really, i promise.
* Also, the whole " baby cant self settle " thing is just bad habit, not bad mothering. Phew - so i can stop torturing myself over that one.

Honestly? I think it was a definate help going down there. Yes, they (generally ) use a controlled crying technique but i was ok with that because i'd tried everything else and nothing had worked. Plus, its not a horrible, parental abandonment type of controlled crying - its reading tired signs and listening to the cry and going back in at short intervals to calm bub down and reassure him he's tired and needs to go to sleep. Its the same kind of thing i was trying to do at home, i just needed a bit of guidance. I'm grateful to the nurses for sharing their knowledge with me, for answering my stupid questions, and for calming ME down when i cracked and burst into tears on the first day.

I'm actually looking forward to the challenge of implementing and sticking with the new routine ( which is only slightly tweaked from our old one ) and seeing how long it takes to be entirely successful. With no afternoon nap its only taken Flynn 10 minutes to fall asleep for the night so thats a good start!

We're Here!

We're here, at Tresillian, finally.
I got the call at 12:30pm yesterday ( Sunday ) saying that they had a spot for me at 9am in the morning - could i be there? Well it may be a 5 and half drive from where i live but yes i could! I madly washed and ried some clothes Flynn and i would need, packed our bags - hoping that i didnt forget anything important - and we hit the road by 4pm. An overnight sleepover at Micks aunties place and we were admitted at 9am this morning, as promised.

I'm not sure how i'm feeling right now. There's no denying that you are in a hospital - hospital rooms, hospital bathrooms and, perhaps worst of all, hospital food - so my immediate reaction to the place was " what the hell am i doing here? its so depressing! " but now that we've settled in a bit, its not so bad. The nurses so far have been wonderful, and the other mums i've run into are good for a chat. They have great trashy magazines, and a vending machine so i can supplement the hospital meals with good stuff - like chocolate ( which, sadly, means that OS:M2 will not be so much of a success this week ). I had a little meltdown around lunchtime, trying to get Flynn to take a nap that he wouldnt normally take, and the nurses were great about it. I know its going to be a long, hard week, especially away from Mick, but i also know that i can do it.

I can do it, and i will. Just watch me!

We're In!

So i had my interview via telephone with Tresillian ( a sleep clinic for babies/toddlers ) and... we've been accepted. Thank Gawd! We've actually been put on the urgent list so hopefully we can be admitted within a week. Only thing is it will be on short notice so they may ring me Monday ( for example ) and ask me to be there ready to start on Tuesday - which means packing a bag for Flynn and I and hightailing it the almost 6 hr drive to Sydney. On my own, most likely - Mick doesnt think he will be able to come because of the short notice thing ( he's a truck driver so he may be away in another town when the call comes ).

I'm happy that we're finally going to get some help, but also a little upset with myself that i was too stubborn and proud to ask for help earlier. I mean i have asked for some help - we've been liasing with our community health nurse, and family and friends have been pestered for suggestion for months. But it was my stupid pride, my " I can do this by myself " attitude, that kept me from seeking proper  help. I just didnt want to admit that i couldnt be the Supermum who knew everything about her baby and could everything perfectly the first time around. I wanted so badly to be able to say " yea, we had trouble sleeping, but i fixed that! ". But i cant - or at least not yet.

Sometime in the next week or two i will be able to say " yea, we had trouble sleeping, but i fixed that... with some help ". I want to be more confident as a mum, because even though i know my son is happy and healthy for the most part, and that i'm awesome and some mummy stuff, this whole no-sleeping jazz really put a dent in my belief in my mothering abilities. So fingers crossed we get in sooner rather than later and Mr Flynn and I ( oh, and Mick, yea him too ) can get back to some good sleep and good times!

I've Gone And Done It

So - I've gone and done it. After many months of sleepless nights, noisy attempts at controlled crying and parental presence method, of nursing to sleep and sleeping with little feet in my back..... i've applied to spend a week at Tresillian*. I've posted half a dozen times about Project SleepyTime, my hard fought battle to get my son to be able to self settle, to fall asleep and stay asleep, without needing me to drag my sorry, sleepy, scary-haired slef out of bed to help him. Well, its just not working. We had a 3 good weeks of sleep but i cant attribute it to anything i did - i tried every tip and trick in the book for two and half months with very little improvement and then one night Flynn just decided to sleep for 6 hours straight before waking up. He did that every night for 3, maybe 4 weeks and then he got a fever and a virus and our whole good sleep thing collapsed. I've tried everything over the last two and half weeks to get him back on track: we kept up with the music that had worked before but it had no effect this time; i patted and stroked and sshed and sung lullabies; we even put a nightlight on in his room, which has gained us maybe an extra hour or two of sleep.

But Sunday night was the last straw. Flynn didnt fall asleep ( and stay asleep ) until 11pm - Mick and i had been nursing and patting etc since 7pm - and woke at 1am.... and decided he wasnt going back to sleep til 6am. 5 hours he stayed awake. He wasnt crying the whole time, he just didnt want to go to sleep. He wanted to play and watch tv and snuggle. I took him for a 45 minute drive, towards the end of which he fell asleep. I got him out of the car carefully but as soon as his head touched his pillow - bam! Awake and crying. It was 4am in the morning and i'd had enough - i left him in his bed crying and went back to my own bed. My heart said i shouldnt leave him there crying, my head said maybe it was too cold, or he'd poke his arm through his cot bars and be uncomfy but my body was so exhausted that i fell asleep...and i didnt wake til 6am. And Flynn was still crying. I'd left my baby to cry for 2 straight hours while i slept. Thats when i decided pride be damned, we needed help.

I feel like i've given up, like the worst mum in the world. I feel like i've done something so drastically wrong that i cant get my baby to have healthy, happy sleep and now i've just thrown in the towel. Thrown my hands up and said " here, someone else, you deal with it ". I know in reality thats not how it is but thats what it feels like. Failure. Yuck.

So i've gotten a referral from my lovely health nurse, she helped me fill in and submit the forms. Now i just have to ring the facility on Friday and speak to a nurse to make arrangements ( i suppose ). I'm hoping i get in before i go back to work otherwise i'll have to delay returning to my job, which will mean a delay in finances - and the last thing i need on top of no sleep is to go broke. Wish me luck ladies...

* For international readers - or anyone who doesnt know - Tresillian is a baby and family health service. I'm hoping to spend a week at one of their sleep clinics, where they'll teach Flynn how to sleep again, and me how to help him.

Project Sleepy-Time, Take #2

So, Project Sleepy-Time - like i said, it kind of failed. Fell through. Had been put on the back burner. We've had Flynn in our bed everynight for the past two weeks, simply because its been easier to get him to sleep there and Mick and I would like to get some sleep too. Last night though, i managed to have him sleep in his own bed the entire night - he did wake up for one feed at 4:30am and i did have to get up five other times to put his dummy back in, but he stayed in his own bed. No cuddling, head stroking or snoozing between Mummy and Daddy, just the hot water bottle and his own blankies in his own bed.

So, consider today the start of Project Sleepy-Time, take #2. I went in to see my community health nurse again today ( thank god for community health nurses! ) and talked with her a little more about our sleep issues. She seems to think that Mr Flynn is suffering some major seperation anxiety, just that it seems to be only associated with his sleep. Its like everytime he wakes, he needs to immediately know that i'm nearby or else he wakes too much and gets in a panic, which is why its so hard to get him back to sleep. So, she said just to try putting him his own bed again tonight, see if i can get another relatively good nights sleep out of him, and if all goes well just keep doing what i'm doing.  If not, she suggests that we set up a porta-cot beside our bed so that way when Flynn wakes he can see me and i can reach down and touch him, without actually having him in the bed with us. That way he has what he needs but we still have our personal space. Score! As he gets used to being in the porta-cot alone and sleeping pretty well, then we start to move the cot further and further from our bed until he's back in his room.

Alright - i can handle that, if thats what we need. Hopefully we dont need to, but if we do i'm willing to give it my best shot. The only other thing she suggested that i'm not exactly looking forward to - GET RID OF HIS DUMMY. I actually think its a great idea, i'm just not too much looking forward to the hassle of it, but i'd rather do it now while his whole sleep is unsettled anyway, rather than get him sleeping well again and a few months from now try to take his dummy, thus unsettling him again. Wish me luck!

Welcome to Project Sleepy-Time

Name: Project Sleepy-Time

Aim : To get my son to learn to sleep without mummy having to cuddle him and pat him. That is, Mr Flynny needs to learn the skill of self-settling - i cannot keep hugging him to sleep. He is only one week off being 6 months old and i think i'm ready to give the whole self-settling thing a proper shot.

Method: After much reading and chatting to fellow mums and the Tresillian nurse on MSN Mums, i have decided to go with the so-called " Parental Presence " method. Heres how it works: i wrap Flynn up and give him the usual cuddle until he's calm/drowsy. Then, rather than keep the cuddling and patting going til he's comfortably pushing out the zzz's, i'm going to put him in his cot, tuck him in, give him a kiss and tell him its time to go to sleep. Now, the " parental presence " part - rather than leave the room i'm going to curl up in a bean bag right beside his bed, where he can see me, and pretend to be asleep. If he becomes agitated i'm to keep my eyes closed and say " Ssshhh, its time to go to sleep ". In theory i need to keep this pretend sleep thing going until Flynn falls asleep.

Dude - this is going to be hard! I am under no illusions that this is going to be both difficult, and time-consuming. I've tried controlled crying and, believe me, my son must have one hell of a stubborn streak - i've left him in his cot, alternately whingeing and crying ( with me checking on him every 10 minutes ) for almost 2 hours ( out of sheer frusturation ). Did he eventually fall asleep? No. No, after 2 hours it was time for him to have another feed. We've tried the controlled crying for over 2 weeks and not once has he fallen asleep in his cot on his own. Fail, controlled crying, fail.

So, " Parental Presence " method, here we come. Its now 7:41am on Monday morning - we have been awake for 40 minutes, have had one booby feed, will be having a yoghurt in about half an hour and i'm anticipating tired sign by 8:45am, at which point Project Sleepy-Time will come into effect. I'm thinking today is going to be full of crying, screaming, general non-cooperation and a frazzled mummy, but i'm determined to stick with it. Wish me luck!

Don't Talkback To Me!

I have a confession to make : I listen to talkback radio. At night. And I’m only 26 yrs old.


And its not even “ shock jock “ stuff. Its just ordinary people ringing in to discuss whatever they want with the radio host and a couple of thousand other people. Don’t judge me ok ? Once upon a time I thought late night talk back radio was extremely daggy – there was no way you’d have me listening to random old women ringing in to flirt with the cheesy host when I could be listening to some Top 40 countdown instead. I’ve always listened to the radio at night on an FM station ( music helps me sleep ) but then when Mick and I started sharing a bed I discovered that he was a talkback fan. Gasp! And here I was thinking he was cool….

But you know what ? I’ve secretly grown to like it. Its like reality tv without the pictures. All kinds of people ring in and they talk about all kinds of things and I get to lie there, like some kind of voyeur, and listen in to their conversations. Sure, mostly its political stuff, or opinions on a social issue or current news story, but its interesting to here other peoples take on things. Its even more interesting when the caller and the host don’t agree and then they get into a petty argument ( don’t we all love a good fight? ) I have to say, though, that its really hard not to lie in my bed and curse out loud when I don’t agree with the caller – you know, like “ You’re freaking kidding! What, aren’t you listening ? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard! “. Mick has had to roll over once or twice and remind me that a) they cant hear me and b) I’m supposed to be going to sleep….

So – to all the talkback radio callers who entertain me of a nighttime, I salute you! The truckies and shift-workers; the old men and flirty old ladies who prefer the “wireless “ to the tv; and yes, even to those crazy weirdo people who ring in at 3 or 4am when they should be asleep ( I’m awake because I’m breastfeeding – I have an excuse… ), thanks for taking advantage of our freedom of speech and helping me get to sleep at night. P.S That is no way indicative of how boring some of you are sometimes, its just how I roll…..

Operation ' Get My Child To Sleep Longer So I Can Stop Being A Dairy Cow ' Begins....Now!

Perhaps i should just refer to it as Operation Sleep for the sake of not having to type all that over and over. Either way I'm on a mission to get Flynn to nap for a longer period during the day, so that i can have my boobs to myself for a little longer and i can get some stuff done around the house on a regular basis. Dont get me wrong: Flynn is not a 'problem' baby. He doesnt do a great deal of this:

So its not like i have a problem with him howling all day long. However, i need him to do is more of this:

Thats right - he needs sleep more during the day. We dont have a problem at night ( thank gawd! ) but during the day we've had a little bit of issue. What kind of issue? Well, even though i'm well aware that our 'schedule' is inside the bounds of normal, i've started to become a little weary of breastfeeding my son every two hours. So, for example, we might start a feed at 8am, have a little play and then be put down to sleep by 9am. If i'm lucky he will sleep between 20-40 mins, and then he's ready for another feed by 10am. As i said, this kind of feeding schedule is considered to be normal, so thats not the issue - what is the issue is that its exhausting. I've been eating more than i normally would, just to keep up the calories to have enough energy to produce and supply the milk, not to mention its just demanding on a mum to have so little time to herself to have a shower, or eat lunch, or get any household chores done.

So - i got a hold of a counsellor from the Australian Breastfeeding Association  ( can i just say how awesome the ABA is, what with having counsellors and a forum for mums to discuss stuff and weekly meetings in some areas? ) and she was really helpful - she's given me a few ideas of how to lengthen out our little feed schedule and to help me to get him to sleep for a longer period. I'm also taking this opportunity, while i'm already implementing some change, to move Flynn out of his bassinette in our room and into his cot in his own bedroom. So big changes afoot!

We've started today and so far its gone pretty well. Its feed, play , wrap and then a quick pat and cuddle before i put him into bed. If he cries i leave him for 10 minutes before i lift him out, give him another cuddle and put him back. He's managed, after two cry/cuddles to sleep for a total of 2 hrs, twice, already today. So, cross your fingers for me for the rest of the weekend!

Sleep, My Pretty, Sleep

Ok, so i may have spoke a little too soon in my last " mummy " update. Yes i said i wasnt finding it too rough YET - yea, well, yet arrived last week. However, i think i still had it pretty good in comparison to a lot of other new mums...

See what happened was - Flynn decided he wanted to start what is known as " cluster feeding ". So instead of being awake/having a feed/going back to sleep Flynn was waking in the morning and then having a feed - and staying awake, wanting another feed around 45 minutes later and then still staying awake. He was averaging four feeds in four hours of awake time and then he would fall asleep for maybe 2 hrs and want to do the whole feed/cuddle/grizzle/feed repeat thing again. My only blessing is that he was doing this during the day time, when i am supposed to be awake anyway, instead of at night. At night he was sleeping for 5 or 6 straight hours before wanting one feed and then back to sleep. Thank. Gawd.

But i'm not going to pretend the cluster feeding thing was easy, even during the day. Hell no - it was exhausting. I mean imagine if you will a four to five hour period where you had a baby on your boob ( ok, sorry, theres no other way to put it ) for 25 minutes and then the baby wanted to snuggle ( which is lovely ) but then they wanted to grizzle ( which is not so much lovely ) and then within the completion of an hour he was back on your boob. I couldnt do anything other than sit on the lounge and watch midday television - " Ellen ", " Dr Phil ", " Oprah ", " The View "... take your pick .Crazy as it sounds i wanted to get some housework done, which i couldnt because i cant wash dishes or hang the clean clothes on the line with one hand. I'm sure as my mummy caper continues i'll develop this skill but right now its sorely lacking.

Also - i couldnt help but feel like a dairy cow.

But now that we've had a cool change in the weather the cluster feeding thing has backed off a bit and, so far, it hasnt been replaced with anything else too strange.

Yet.....

Early Morning Blues

I hate getting up for work in the morning. I've been at the same job for 3 and half years, and i've been getting up at the same time for those 3 and half years, so you'd think i'd be used to it. And i am - i just dont like it.

Its not that i even mind the actual going to work part, its just the getting up bit that gets to me. I dont like the alarm the going off ( especially if i'm in the middle of a dream ) and then having to stretch and yawn and shut my eyes again and pretend that 30 more seconds of closed lidded-ness will be enough. Why cant i have a job that will let me start whenever ? That would let me sleep until my bodyclock wakes me and then i could go in ? Oh - because they dont exist! Unless you're a rich, pampered, party princess who counts shopping, buying pets to add your menagerie, and exposing your pantiless privates as " work ".

Once i'm actually up and out of bed, i'm fine. I'm alert and usually in a good mood. Like today for example: I'm up, I'm showered, i've eaten breakfast and am now watching a spot of morning TV before i head out the door. Its just that 3 - to 5 minutes period between the stupid alarm going off and actually having to pull back the covers that i really dont like. Its poo.

Yet, its just occurred to me, approximately 6 months from now, i'll have a brand new, wrinkly, bald, crying alarm and ACTUAL POO to wake up to. Way earlier than i'm waking up now. Ah, something to look forward to.....

I Do What ?!?

I am a blanket hog.

Yes, thats right ladies and gentleman, I have been made aware that i am, in fact, a blanket hog. I am one of these people who steals the sheets in the middle of the night and leaves their bed mate shivering in the cold. In the inevitable rock and rolling of sleep, i somehow manage to pull all the bedclothes onto my side and leave my partner naked bar their pyjamas ( if, indeed, they are wearing any ). I'm a douche - right ?

Yep, Mr Gil lovingly informed me one morning this weekend that i had contributed to his chances of catching pnuemonia by hogging all the blankets on the bed we were sharing and leaving him lying their freezing. I was horrified and, rightfully so, apologetic -i'd had no idea i do that! Have i always done it? Why hasnt anyone ever told me before ?Admittedly, i do love to be all snuggly when i sleep in colder weather, but since when am i blanky-selfish?

Mr Gil said it was fine because being curled up against me was keeping him warm enough ( my bountiful booty must produce a lot of heat during the night that i'm not aware of... ) but i still felt terrible. No-one likes a blanket hog - or at least i dont. However, i suppose we cant be held fully responsible for the things we do when we're asleep. At least i'm not up trashing the house in a sleepwalking trance, or snoring loud enough to wake the nighbours ( right? Im not doing that am i ? ). Those things would be worse. At least Mr Gil can steal the blankets back if he yanks them hard enough - you cant wake a sleep walker for fear of them injuring themselves, and sometimes the only respite from a snorer is to squeeze their nostrils together, stopping their breathing ( risk of death anyone ? ).

So, my apologies to Mr Gil, and my apologies to any other man i've ever shared a bed with.
I know not what i do....

Not again

I have been reading up this afternoon, on Wikipedia ( good old Wikipedia ) on the definitions, symptoms, physicalities, what have you, of depression. Clinical depression, major depression, bipolar depression, unipolar depression, dysthmia and social anxiety disorder. And as much as i know it, it is not good for me to be filling my head with all that. But i can't seem to stop.

To make matters worse, i am having a fight ( for lack of a better term ) with my sister - she through a hissy fit for something i said in jest, but which happens to be the truth but she refuses to acknowledge, and she in turn through back an actual insult at me. She apparently does not understand the gravity of what she has said, nor how much it has hurt me or why. She has been texting me relentless for the past half hour, but i cant do this right now.

I just want to sleep.....

Just read, dont ask questions....

I have just written an email to a friend whom i inadvertently offended last night whilst on a self-destructive head trip. I just wanted to briefly post one paragraph of this email, because, as i said to her, i cant fully explain what goes through my head, but i wanted to try:

Next, i'm not going to try and explain the intricacies of whats been running through my mind, little by little, slowly creeping up on me, the last few months, but i will tell you that it sucks. " Dark " periods have been accumulating for a little while now, but it seems like the last month or so ( except when i was on holidays ) they are starting to get pretty regular, and yesterday was my worst day for quite a while. There was a whole little succession of things that just added up to the point where i found myself at work, my head pounding, trying not to spontaneously burst into tears, wondering what it would feel like if i stabbed a screwdriver through my hand. I kid you not - i spent a good 10 minutes imagining myself picking up screwdriver and jamming it into my hand, just because at least then i'd have a valid reason to be in pain. I've actually been questioning lately whether i might be a bit bi-polar, you know, just for a change.

There you have it. Yes, i know, it makes little sense, but i just felt the need to get it out so that i can possibly get more than 3 hours broken sleep tonight....