Opinions - Please?Please?Please!

Ok - so remember a while back when i said i would like to write a childrens book one day? Yea well, i need your help on something. See, inspired by my son dumping one of his toys in the bath a few nights ago i sat down and wrote myself a little story entitled " There's a Giraffe in my Bath ". I've read it to a few people and one in particular encouraged me to see if i could get it published. I laughed it off but she said to me " Amy, if i can change careers in my mid-30's, a widow and a mum of 3....YOU can be a writer ". Fair enough. Unfortunately, there is already a childrens picture book called " A Giraffe In The Bath " ( by the very talented Mem Fox, which as far as i can tell isnt like mine at all, just shares a first line ) but i thought i might just post my little effort here and see what you beautiful mummy type people thought of it. Here goes:

There’s a giraffe in my bath

He’s quite big and tall
With him already in
I’ll have no room at all!

I scrub his long neck
And clean under his chin
Then he moves over a little
So I can get in.

I slide in with a “splash! “,
Settle down in my bath
I’m a little bit squished
Up against this giraffe.


The water is warm
And there’s plenty of bubbles
But if mum catches us both
We’ll be in big troubles!


“ Could you pass me the soap? “
I ask with a smirk.
A bath with a giraffe
Is such difficult work!


I have a quick scrub and
Get as clean as I can
But a big, tall giraffe
Wasn’t part of the plan!


Its time to get out
Before the water goes cold
“ You have to go now “
The giraffe is told.


He stands up and climbs out
And he shakes himself dry
And off into the night
Goes that strange giraffe guy.


I smile and laugh
Cant help shaking my head;
I’m done in the bath,
But now who’s in my bed?

So there you go...thats it. If you could give a quick opinion on it, and maybe link it on your blog so i can get as mnay opinions as possible, i would be really really appreciative!

The Start?

I'm not going into detail, just asking if you could read the following, and leave a comment. Please? Thankyou?

It was dark when i started looking for myself. Ordinarily you wouldnt conduct a search in the dark but, with me, it was the best ( and only ) place to start. Truth be told i had been in the darkness so long that had a light appeared and shone itself directly in my face i would have shyed away from what it might illuminate, and slunk back into the comfortable black i knew so well. I was afraid – i wouldnt have copped to it then, but i can admit to it now. I was afraid – of having to see, of having to know. At least in the dark i could pretend. I could ignore what might really be there, and imagine a whole other, different, BETTER world for myself. Its just that, one day, i realised i was tired of playing pretend. So very, very tired. I couldnt pretend anymore, i couldnt keep up the pretence of “ normal “, i couldnt keep being a “ me “ that wasnt really me at all. So i was tired, that much i knew. The only other thing i knew for sure is that i DIDNT know who i was anymore. I DIDNT know who i was, or where “ I “ might be.  And what do you do when you dont know where something is ? You start looking – just, ordinarily, you don’t start in the dark....

Thoughts?