Sometimes You Have To Stop Running.

Getting picked on. Tormented. Harrassed. Bullied. I'm sure its happened to all of us, in varying degrees. Its certainly not a new phenomena, and nor do i see it being phased out anytime soon. In fact, i'm pretty sure bullies will still exist when Flynn makes it to kindergarten ( 4 years from now ... ). So - just how do i raise my child to deal with childhood bullies?

Of course, i bring this up now because, like most people out there, i've seen the video posted on YouTube last week of a Sydney teenager fighting back against a bully. I only watched it the once and, yes - it made me wince. The young boy that got thrown to the ground did not look too well when he tried to get up. Did i sympathise with him though? Umm, no, not really. Its hard to sympathise with a kid you just watched taunting and punching another kid, even if he did get body-slammed in the end. In fact, i'd even go so far as to say he deserved it.

I dont want to offend anyone, or start some huge parenting argument but.... i think its ok to defend yourself when someone is hurting you. Even if that means you have to hurt them back. Shock horror! I'm not talking about little children - if Flynn ( now 15 months old ) hits another kid at mothers group or at the park, even if they pushed him first , then i tell him we dont hit, its not nice. I'm talking about children and especially teenagers, who are old enough to know better. I'm also not talking about a one-off school yard fight - you can be the bigger person and walk away from those.

I'm talking about long-term, systemic belittling and physical violence. I'm talking about having to go to school everyday knowing that some kid is going to walk up and punch you for no reason, or dak you in the playground just because he can, or who is going to yell things at you on your way to the canteen. You shouldnt have to put up with that. And its all well and good for some parents to say " just tell the teacher " but really, in todays society, what will ( can ) the teachers do? Give the bully a warning? A detention ? A suspension in the worst cases? All of which just results in the bully getting a holiday and the victim getting " Dobbers wear nappies! " from ever other kid in the school yard.

So Mick and I are going to teach our children that if someone is constantly harrassing them, teasing them everyday, kicking and punching and bashing them up.... then its ok for them to fight back. Its ok for them to be the better man and walk away time and time again but, if, eventually they implode and they've taken all they can take then yes.... its ok for them to get a punch or two in, just to give the bully some of their own medecine. To show that they have strength too, and that they arent afraid. Walking away is the nicer option, but some people just wont let up until theyve been stood up to. I know that if it came down to my child body-slamming their tormentor in a moment of rage, or bottling it all up until he killed himself, just to escape....well, a school yard punch up doesnt look so bad, does it?

Dis-Gust-Ing....

WARNING: Before you go any further, this is a rant. Please avoid the following paragraphs if you do not wish to read curse words, complaints or other peoples pet hates.

So - my desk in my office has a perfect view to the street outside. My office is situated on the main street of our town and my desk is, therefore, perfect for people watching. So i'm having a little stare out the window ( whilst i was working of course ) and i see a young girl walking along. She's petite, nice hair and she's dressed really nicely. In short, i was thinking how lovely she looked... and then she spat. On the ground. On a public street. A young girl spat saliva on a public street in front of my office.

I cannot STAND people who spit. Spitting in public is absolutely disgraceful. I mean, if you really must spit - say you havea huge loogy working up in the back of your throat, or a horridly sour taste in your mouth - than at least spit into a bin or into a hankerchief or something. Have the decency not to spread your bodily fluids all over a public walkway, where poor unfortunate people have to skirt around it. In short, spitting in public ( unles your on the sporting field ) is nothing short of disgusting.

My other pet peeve for today is domestic disputes in public. Sure, everyone enjoys being privy to a good pub fight ( you know, where people get into a huge argument whilst drunk, and are completely oblivious to the circle of peope listening in ). What I cant stand is people who think that the main street of town is the perfect place to air their dirty laundry. " Fuck you you motherfucking bitch- you can fucking walk home then! You're a dirty slut anyway! " is not exactly something i want to hear while i'm trying to work. I also do not want to see women flying at men and trying to hit them with shopping bags or sticks they have pulled out of the garden, nor do i want to see men deliberately intimidating women, grabbing them by the hair and threatening to kill them when they get home. Seriously. Those might be extreme cases ( extreme but certainly by no means exaggerated.... its all part of a show i get treated to on a semi-regular basis ) but i dont think anybody needs to be hurling abuse at each other in the public domain.

And there you have it - rant over. I am sitting in my hotel room as i have been sent off for a few days training. I've watched " How I Met Your Mother ", " Two and a Half Men " and " South Park " and i have gotten my pet peeves of my chest, so i think its time to settle in with a book.
Good nigtht everyone!