Am I selfish ?

Sometimes i sit alone, in the dark, and just think. Or cry. And not like at night, in bed, trying to sleep - i sit in the hallway, the lights still on in the living room, sound from the TV, and just pretend like i'm not there. No-one's there. Thats what it feels like - sometimes i am so utterly lonely that it seems like no-one else in the world exists. That not even i exist. And then i berate myself for being so stupid. I have family and friends who love me, adore me, cherish me.

But sometimes thats not enough.